We could become more deeply acquainted with the body’s instinctive weight-management system and worry less about external measures of what and when we’re supposed to eat. Her approach suggested that the impossible was possible: we could learn to love and trust our bodies to regulate themselves while enjoying food and movement. The introduction alone inspired feelings of deep discomfort and tearfulness. Upon the urging of several peers and clients, I recently picked up Dr. Bacon’s Health at Every Size ( HAES). Doesn’t anyone just get to enjoy food and love their bodies? I’ve been recently reflecting on the great irony that some of the most thin, muscular people I know still fixate on their food choices and the specter of becoming fat while some of the people who most fervently indulge in all their desires struggle with discomfort and dissatisfaction in their bodies. I’ve been through lots of phases: wearing too-tight clothes as “motivation” to lose weight, shaming myself for what I ate, feeling guilty for eating “bad” things anyway, calorie restriction, and more. Others don’t believe I was ever that kid part of me may never believe I’m not still that kid.

I had no idea why she was saying this to me except to point out I was fat. She came up to me while I was practicing and said, with this syrupy sweet patronizing concern, “This is hard, isn’t it?” I wasn’t winded at all, I didn’t feel tired. One time she was teaching us a particular line dance, and dancing was one of the few activities I’ve always enjoyed. I remember in particular a music teacher in my elementary school, who for some reason always seemed to go out of her way to point out that I was fat. Until my dad and my Boy Scout Troop got me into hiking, I avoided most physical activities. Coordination was a challenge, and often when I played sports I felt humiliated by how terrible I was at them. I ate lots of food with high sugar and fat content and little nutrition. When I look at old pictures now, I see that the range of my weight fluctuated throughout childhood, but when I was in it I just thought of myself as fat. I was a fat kid for most of my childhood.

Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight

Health at every size bacon